An increasing number of my friends find themselves in the challenging position of simultaneously caring for both their children and aging parents—the sandwich generation. I’ve witnessed close friends juggle responsibilities, from picking up their children to rushing to ensure their parents are taking their medications and maintaining their households.
These situations are challenging on their own, and they become even more taxing when parents are also navigating the tumultuous teen years in today’s complex parenting landscape, leading to elevated stress levels.
Stress, in turn, makes it challenging to self-regulate, which involves maintaining composure under pressure and refraining from raising one’s voice.
At MindKey Health, our team shares a powerful mantra with parents: “We must always share our calm, not amplify our children’s chaos.” (I must note that the original quote is by LR Knost: “When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.”
Balancing the duties of raising kids and taking care of aging parents, which is a unique challenge for the sandwich generation, can be difficult and emotionally draining. Staying calm while handling both roles is tough but commendable. To help you do this and follow the advice of sharing calm, here are nine practical tips for you to consider:
1. Embrace a Proactive Mindset
Cultivate a proactive mindset by anticipating potential challenges and addressing them before they become overwhelming. Establishing routines, organizing tasks and creating a comprehensive care plan for both generations can provide a sense of control and predictability, alleviating stressors.
2. Prioritize Self-Care
Dedicate intentional time for self-care activities that rejuvenate your mind and body. Whether it’s a few minutes of meditation, a brisk walk or engaging in a hobby, prioritizing self-care is crucial for maintaining resilience and preventing burnout.
3. Establish Boundaries
Clearly define and communicate boundaries to prevent burnout. Understand your limitations and learn to prioritize tasks. Setting realistic expectations for yourself, your children and your aging parents helps create a manageable routine, reducing the constant pressure that can contribute to stress.
4. Seek Support for Your Children
Acknowledge that you can’t do everything alone. When it comes to your children, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Establish connections with the parents of your child’s classmates and build a support network. Request assistance in picking up your child from school or accompanying them to extracurricular activities when your attention is required for your aging parent. Shared responsibilities can alleviate some of the daily pressures.
5. Invest in Household Assistance
Recognize the impact of a clutter-free and well-maintained home on your mental well-being. Even if it’s only once a month, consider hiring a house cleaner. Outsourcing this responsibility can provide you with valuable time for self-care and reduce the mental load associated with household chores.
6. Prep Your Meals in Advance
Streamline your daily routine by stocking your freezer with easy-to-make dinners from convenient sources. Preparing and freezing meals in advance can save you time and energy, allowing you to focus on the immediate needs of both your children and aging parents without compromising on nutrition or resorting to last-minute meal solutions.
7. Utilize Grocery Delivery Services
Embrace the convenience of grocery and meal delivery services like Instacart, DoorDash and Skip the Dishes. This not only saves you the time spent navigating crowded grocery stores but also ensures that your household remains well-stocked with essentials. Simplifying the grocery process contributes to a smoother daily life.
8. Explore Resources for Children with Special Needs
If you have a child with special needs, take the time to understand and utilize available resources. Investigate the Disability Tax Credit, Home Owners Grant Disability Tax Credit and Respite Services like those offered at the Cridge Centre. This knowledge empowers you to provide the best possible care for your child, reducing stress and fostering a sense of support.
9. Proactive Healthcare for Aging Parents
In caring for aging parents, explore proactive and person-centered healthcare options tailored for seniors. Organizations like Monarch Health offer services that prioritize the well-being and comfort of elderly individuals within the familiarity of their own homes. Investigate these options to ensure your aging parents receive the care they need, easing the burden on your shoulders.
By implementing these strategies, you can create a more sustainable and balanced caregiving routine, fostering an environment where you can share your calm amidst the challenges of the sandwich generation. Remember, seeking and accepting support is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your resilience and commitment to the well-being of both your children and aging parents.